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Blog posts

Three challenges writers face and how to overcome them

2023-02-08
By Mariëlle
On 8 February 2023
In Blog posts
With 0 Comments

This blogpost was originally published as a guest post about the third volume of the 52 Weeks of Writing Author Journal and Planner for Sandra’s Book Club.

Three challenges writers face and how to overcome them

As writers, there are so many different challenges we face. Now we’ve left 2021 behind us, I want to share the three main challenges that came up for the writers I coached that year.

I struggle to stay accountable to myself

For some writers, it’s rather easy to keep themselves motivated. For others, it’s harder. I don’t have an answer as to why some writers need more external motivation than others, but I do know it’s become harder generally to stay motivated since the You-Know-What started.

If it has been a struggle to keep yourself motivated and moving forward with your writing, I highly suggest you find yourself an accountability partner. This could be a fellow writer, but it doesn’t have to be. An accountability partner doesn’t have to have similar goals. Perhaps one of your friends or colleagues has set some intentions for the new year and you could keep each other accountable?

Whoever you pick, make sure you are on the same page. You both need to understand the kind of motivation the other person needs, and you need to be comfortable giving that kind of motivation. I once had a client who asked me to be meaner to her when she didn’t achieve her writing goals, but that doesn’t align with who I am and the kind of coaching I do.

You also need to set some rules about who is reaching out first and how often. Make sure you’re not creating any loopholes for yourself to get out from doing what you said you’d be doing! If you want write every Tuesday morning, but you’ve been struggling to get started, it might not be helpful if your accountability partner waits until the Thursday to ask whether you got your writing done. Neither is it helpful if they text or call you while you should be writing. So think through this and figure out together what makes the most sense for you both.

I struggle to stay true to myself in my writing

I’m quite sure that this is something writers have always struggled with, simply because we don’t exist in a vacuum, isolated from people with opinions about what we’re writing. There’s also always been a writing market, with its supply and demand and publishers and agents trying to make money of our work, telling us what stories are and aren’t selling right now.

Of course, not all writers face this challenge, because there are those who are perfectly happy writing certain pieces simply because they sell well, even if it’s not exactly the genre they would have picked themselves. But there are a lot of writers who do feel like they’re stuck between what they want to be writing and what they think they should be writing instead, if they’re to make any kind of money with their work.

If you feel similarly caught between these two options and wish to return to yourself, it could be useful to grab a journal and write down why it is you’re writing. Why do you write? What does it bring you? What do you want it to bring you?

Once you’ve figured out the answers to those questions, think of what you want to be writing and ask yourself why this is. Why these particular works? Why this genre? What do you love so much about it? What does it allow you to say?

Now look at what you think you should be writing and be honest with yourself: Could writing this kind of work give you the same as what you want to be writing? Does it feed your soul in the same way? If the answer is no, you know what to do. In the future, you can use these answers as guideposts to help you decide what to do when you next feel forced to write a particular kind of work.

I struggle to set boundaries around my writing

This, too, is one of those struggles that seemed to have been here forever and isn’t likely to go away any time soon, if at all. The You-Know-What made it even harder to set boundaries, especially for those with families. I mainly coach women writers and we’ve talked a lot about how most of the extra work the pandemic created ended up in their lap. Some ended up full-time mothering again, while others lost their dedicated writing space to their spouse, who suddenly needed a home office.

The thing about boundaries is that you can only set them properly if you:

  • believe in what you’re doing, and
  • feel worthy of what you’re asking for.

If you, on some level, don’t believe you can write or have nothing interesting to say, it’s going to be hard to set boundaries around your writing time. But even if you believe in your writing, you still have to feel worthy of taking time away from whatever else goes on in your life.

For example, if you, on some level, feel that locking yourself up in a room with a sign on the door that you’re not to be disturbed unless the house is on fire makes you a bad mother, it’s going to be really hard to set and stick to that boundary. Likewise, if you feel that setting time apart to write makes you a bad partner because you could be spending that time with and on them, it’ll be hard to keep it up, if you manage to do it at all.

So before you start asking yourself what kind of boundaries you need in your life, you need to have another honest conversation first. Do you believe in what you’re doing? If not, how come? And what do you need to do to start believing in yourself? What do you need to let go of? Do you feel worthy of setting boundaries around your writing? If not, what is that based on? What do you need to do to start feeling worthy? And what do you need to let go of to make that happen?

If you’re facing any of these challenges, I wish you all the luck in overcoming them. I hope today’s post will help you get there.

Starting your writing year on the right foot

2023-01-11
By Mariëlle
On 11 January 2023
In Blog posts
With 0 Comments
This blogpost was originally published as a guest post about the third volume of the 52 Weeks of Writing Author Journal and Planner on J. Lynn Rowan.
Disclaimer: I wrote the original post in December 2021. During December 2022, I couldn’t get myself to write down goals beyond the next six months. This is a first for me, and I’m attributing it to having flirted with burnout too often over 2022 and finding my way back to myself after being forced to finally work through some deep-rooted personal issues.
I’m positive I’ll get my groove back eventually and I’ll just write down my long-term goals when I do. Because I’m sticking with the advice given in this post: it’s a really good habit to have.

Starting your writing year on the right foot

It may seem obvious, but I start every year filling in my own author journal and planner. Each volume of 52 Weeks of Writing is undated, so you can start whenever you want, but even before I published it, I was used to plan out the year ahead somewhere during December. That’s why I crack open a copy for personal use at the end of each year.

I’m not saying everyone should buy a copy of 52 Weeks of Writing, that that’s the best way to start your writing year on the right foot. I do want to talk about a planning habit of mine that made it into the journal/planner because I’d been doing it for years already, and with great success.

In 52 Weeks of Writing, during Week 1, I ask you to write down your long-term goals. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Five years? Three years? Two? Where do you see yourself in a year from now? In nine months? Six? Three?

Over the past two years, I’ve often been asked why I ask after long-term goals backwards. Wouldn’t it make more sense to start small and then expand? Well. No. Not in my experience. And that’s because I don’t just believe in setting goals. I believe in setting realistic goals.

I’m very much in favour of dreaming big dreams, but the more unrealistic your goals, the more you’re setting yourself up for failure. And consistent failure is not a great motivator. Consistently achieving your goals, that’s a great motivator. That’s what causes those dopamine hits that’ll keep you moving forwards.

So plan for success, that’s how you start your writing year on the right foot. Planning backwards is helpful here because it makes you ask over and over: ‘So if I want to be there in ten years, where do I need to be in five years’ time? If I want to be there in five years, where do I need to be in three years’ time? And if I want to have achieved that in the next three years, what does that mean for my two-year goals, my one-year goals, etc.?’

Backtracking like this gives you a great sense of whether you’re expecting too much, too little, or exactly the right amount of yourself. Perhaps you see yourself having published ten novels in ten years. As you figure out what your other goals have to be in order to achieve that big ten-year goal by then, you might realise there’s no way you can possibly pull that off, not while, let’s say, working fulltime and are thinking of having another baby.

Maybe you set out to have been published in ten literary magazines over the next ten years. But, as you spell out for yourself what that means for your five-year, three-year, and so on goals, you might come to the conclusion that you could be doing much more with the time you have for writing.

Of course, having ten novels published or having been published in ten literary magazines in the next ten years might be utterly realistic for you. We’re all different, we all want different things from our writing, and we all find ourselves in different circumstances. That’s why this exercise is so useful, because it will demonstrate quickly what can and cannot be realistically done within your specific situation.

As you do the exercise, don’t forget that goals aren’t set in stone. I use goals as guidelines, as something to keep me focused, but I revisit them at least annually to see if anything needs to go or needs to be added.

And whatever goals you set for yourself, don’t forget to celebrate each and every milestone. In 52 Weeks of Writing, I explicitly ask you to write down how you’re going to celebrate each of your goals as you achieve them, because it’s all too easy to ignore the small steps and just keep going. But we wouldn’t reach our big goals without those small steps, and they should be honoured as such.

 

How NOT to wreck a writer’s dreams

2022-11-23
By Mariëlle
On 23 November 2022
In Blog posts
With 0 Comments

This blogpost was originally published as a guest post about the third volume of the 52 Weeks of Writing Author Journal and Planner on Lisa’s Reading.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. There was a time, when I was very young, when I wasn’t afraid to say so when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think it was my mother who said: ‘Good luck earning any money with that.’ Then there were others, telling me writing doesn’t bring home the bacon.

Of course, none of these people knew I’d become a vegan eventually. And neither, I think, were they aware of the impact their words had on me. How their casual comments made me lie about what I wanted to become and embarrassed about all those words I kept writing, in secret, afraid of being found out and told I was wasting my time pursuing something I really shouldn’t.

And then one of my uncles brought home a girlfriend. He didn’t just ‘bring her home’; she was from the United States, where he had worked for a couple of years, and she was moving to the Netherlands to be with him.

This girlfriend wasn’t only terribly smart—she was a lawyer who had just won a big case—and kind and funny and pretty and cool because she was from the United States, she loved books the way I did and let me borrow anything I wanted. I had never let anyone read my writing—it was all done in secret, after all—but she was the one I eventually trusted with a couple of pages, the start of a novel.

I remember the scene so vividly. We were out together, having a drink in a little bakery after visiting a fair, when I told her about this story I was writing. I had printed the pages when no one was looking and had put them in my bag in case I would somehow find the courage to show them to her.

I still have those pages and they were bad. Not just in terms of craft—I was fourteen or so—but the start of that story was so clearly based on the last series we’d been reading together… It was painful. Reading those words now, it was so very painful.

Now, over twenty years later, I can’t remember whether she said anything about those pages. The only thing I remember is that she didn’t say anything bad about them. In fact, she asked me about the rest of the story and I spent the entire afternoon telling her about all the ideas I had.

In that little bakery, I gave her the power to wreck me and she didn’t. I was steeling myself to hear about all the bacon I wouldn’t be bringing home, the harsh, penniless life I wanted to willingly sign up for, but she gave me none of that. And it has made all the difference.

Writing still wasn’t something I talked about with anyone else and it took me another fourteen years to tell another soul that I wrote stories and let them read my work, but that terrible fear of anyone finding out lost its hold on me. I no longer hid it from my direct family—I even bought myself a typewriter because the thought of having one alone made me feel more like a writer—and soon it was just something I spent a lot of time doing. If any more discouraging comments were made, I must have been too high on the support I’d received to not register them.

I might have never stopped writing, no matter what my uncle’s then girlfriend had said on that faithful day, but her treating it as something that was OK to be spending my time on, as a dream I was allowed to have and an interest worth pursuing? It did make a difference. She eventually moved back to the United States when I was seventeen, but I will never forget that day and I will never stop being grateful for all the things she didn’t say, all the hurt she didn’t inflict, and all the hope and joy and love for writing she handed back to me in that little bakery.

10 affirmations to live your best creative life

2022-11-09
By Mariëlle
On 9 November 2022
In Blog posts
With 0 Comments

This blogpost was originally published as a guest post about the third volume of the 52 Weeks of Writing Author Journal and Planner on Joanne Guidocco’s On the Road to Reinvention.

As a writing coach, I come across so many limiting beliefs about writing and being a creative person. Below, you’ll find ten affirmations that will help you live your best creative life. Most of these affirmations can also be found in my Seven Simple Spreads series, in which I combine creativity, cartomancy (the reading of cards, such as those of the tarot or oracle cards), and chakra philosophy.

1. I honour my creativity
2. It’s safe for me to create
3. I deserve the joy and pleasure of living a creative life
4. I can create whatever I want to
5. I love everything about my creative self
6. I enjoy all parts of my creative journey
7. I walk my creative path with an open heart
8. I acknowledge and celebrate all of my creative wins
9. I trust my creative purpose
10. I easily turn my creative dreams into plans

YOU have to do the work

2022-10-13
By Mariëlle
On 13 October 2022
In Blog posts
With 0 Comments

This blogpost was originally published as a guest post about the third volume of the 52 Weeks of Writing Author Journal and Planner on Mythical Books.

The 52 Weeks of Writing Author Journal and Planner springs directly from my experience coaching writers and is based on the materials I use in my practice. It has been called ‘a writing coach in book form’ and that’s exactly how I intended it.

Of course, no journal or workbook can stand in for an actual writing coach, someone who will work with you one on one, but 52 Weeks of Writing asks the same questions I ask my clients, and includes numerous writing quotes, prompts, and exercises that I could have picked out or come up with for any of them. Some of them I actually did use in my one-on-one practice and I know I’ll use them again.

Because I poured my approach to coaching into book form, I won’t be around to prod further when you’re holding back or aren’t entirely honest with yourself. That work is entirely up to you. It’s why some questions come back weekly, to help you dig deeper and unravel any unhelpful patterns as you go.

I’m not there to keep you accountable either, which is why I recommend finding yourself an accountability partner as you work your way through the journal/planner. Anyone who purchases 52 Weeks of Writing is also invited to join my Facebook group, The Accountable Wordsmiths.

So how should 52 Weeks of Writing be used?

The journal/planner consists of various elements, some of which return weekly, while others show up every quarter, or only at the very start and end.

Except for the first week, each week starts with a Tracking section, where you’re asked to reflect on the goals you set for the previous week and why you did or didn’t achieve them. Here, you also get to ponder how to better next week, if needed.

The weekly Planning section is where you get to plan your week ahead. If realistic planning isn’t one of your strengths, don’t worry. Just keep tracking your achievements and you’ll soon learn what you can realistically expect of yourself.

Another weekly element are the writing quotes that start off each week and the prompts or exercises that come at the end. Each of the latter is designed to make you grow as a writer, whether in practical terms or those of mindset, and I—obviously—highly recommend doing them.

52 Weeks of Writing starts off with a Clarity section and is designed to help you get clear on what makes you tick as a writer and what may be in the way of your goals and dreams. This section returns every quarter, as does the Reflecting section, which invites you to go back over the past three months and consider how far you’ve come since.

There’s also the Goals section, where I ask you to write down your long-term writing goals. Since goals are not set in stone—we change, our circumstances change—the journal/planner checks in with you every three months to see whether any of those big goals need to be adjusted. You might realise some need to go, while others should be added.

At the very end of the journal/planner, you’ll find the Goal overview. As the name suggests, here you can write down all of your goals of the year, whether you achieved them or not, and the lessons you’ve learned along the way. It’s an extra opportunity to reflect on your progress and get clear about any of the patterns that keep tripping you up.

But… You have to do the work. 52 Weeks of Writing won’t work for you otherwise. You have to actually use it consistently for it to be of help. One of the first reviews this volume received said it well: ‘This is one of those books that you get out of it what you put into it.’ So use it, use it daily, answer the questions, especially the hard ones, and then enjoy the results.

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